I am sorry to just leave a note like this. It probably comes as a surprise. I know you expected me to be with you again tonight, but I just can’t pretend any longer. I have tried, I really have. But I firmly believe that honesty is the best policy, and for that reason I need to tell you the truth.
Camping: I hate you. I’m breaking up with you.
I could try to soften the blow by pretending that it’s not you; it’s me. But that would be a lie, and we’ve already established how I feel about lying.
It’s you. It’s all you.
I know that our relationship has been rocky at the best of times, and we’ve been on a break for quite some time now. Last night was, I admit, a lapse in judgement on my part and for that I am sorry. I hope I didn’t lead you on. I can assure you that the experience has left no doubt in my mind that our relationship is well and truly over.
I know you didn’t show me the best version of yourself last night. You have plenty more to give; I understand that. But I’m glad you didn’t put on your best performance. If you had, maybe I would have been lured in to come back to you again, and eventually your worst characteristics would have emerged. That would have just delayed the inevitable.
Before last night, I really thought I needed to give you one last chance to prove yourself to me. ‘Maybe’, I thought, ‘I am not giving you the opportunity to show me who you really are.’
But I do know who you are. And I’m sorry, but I am simply not in love with you. No amount of trying to love you can make it happen. And you deserve to be loved.
There are times when I thought that this thing between us could work, when I was lured in by your attractive qualities and how much everyone else seems to love you. I’ve heard them talk again and again about how authentic you are, how you make them feel refreshed; invigorated.
The thing is, you just don’t make me feel good about myself. I don’t have any fun when I’m with you, I feel uncomfortable around you and, quite frankly you’re just too much hard work. I’m so tired after spending time with you. Totally drained. Not refreshed. And that’s just not what I’m looking for.
I don’t want you to hear this on the grapevine, so I’m coming clean: there are some others on the scene. They let me relax and be myself. They look after me. They make me feel good. You stopped doing that a long time ago.
I’m not asking you to change. I know you never will. And you’re perfect for someone else; I know you’ll make someone very happy just the way you are.
But, Camping, we have grown so far apart that there’s just no going back to what we once had. I’m sorry, but it’s over.
I’ll probably think about you from time to time, maybe fondly, maybe not. To make myself feel better tonight I’ll have a long hot shower, eat some takeaway and watch a girly TV show. But that’s OK. I’ll be happier. Better off without you in my life.
Oh, and let’s not be friends either. We both know we don’t really like each other anymore.
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